


Holding Kathryn

by bjbookcase



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-27
Updated: 2006-08-27
Packaged: 2019-03-09 22:35:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13491213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjbookcase/pseuds/bjbookcase
Summary: Someone is holding Kathryn Janeway.





	Holding Kathryn

**Author's Note:**

> This story is dedicated to Shayenne and her whip. Thank you.

When she lowers her warm, firm buttocks onto me, I can’t help the soft sigh that escapes me. Holding Kathryn is my joy; the feel of her body brushing against me a comfort I’d rather not do without. A comfort I offer her in return and hope she misses whenever we are apart.

Today, however, something is different.

There are a handful of positions Kathryn takes on me that are as familiar as the background lighting that defines our time together. In fact, I’ve come to the conclusion the two are intrinsically linked. In the soft white glow of daytime, she slouches against me: her long legs slightly askew, her mood relaxed and often playful. Her light touches as she shifts against me are pure pleasure.

I’ve heard yellow is a color often associated with timidity. Not so for Kathryn. A change to yellow illumination triggers a rising tension in her body. I feel it first in the press of her bottom against me; then in the grasp of her fingers as they tighten their hold on my arms. There is no playfulness now — only the taut readiness of a crouching tiger. A readiness that surges into motion as the air around us turns crimson.

Gloriously framed in an aura of red, Kathryn, the tiger, takes command. Rising sharply, she calls out; then lunges back down, riding out the coming onslaught. No doubts, no hesitation now. Focused on her goal, she is a force to be reckoned with. Sometimes it’s all I can do to just hold her steady until completion comes, gently cushioning her until she once more slouches against me. I can’t see it, but I know there is a smug, satisfied little smile gracing her features as the tension drains away.

But as I said, today is different. Even the lighting reflects this change. Tinged with blue, it casts gloomy shadows everywhere. It shrouds Kathryn in a sadness I feel even before her body slumps against me. There is no playfulness today . . . no crouching tiger. The release she needs will not be found in crimson light.

Small droplets of moisture fall upon me and I realize Kathryn is crying. My brave, bold captain is crying. My arms ache to tighten around her, hold her close and add comfort to my support. But my arms remain frozen at my sides as she curls into me, her small body rocking gently as if to ease the pain. Oh, what I wouldn’t give to take away that pain.

Behind us, I hear the _swish_ of opening doors and the swift stride of someone approaching.

“Kathryn?”

Abruptly she is pulled from me and gathered into arms more loving and tender than mine could ever be. A shifting of bodies and another takes Kathryn’s place on me. I know this body. Not as well as I know Kathryn’s, but I recognize the weight, the scent of him as his buttocks cover the warmth left by her own. He does not use me often, out of respect for her; but he does come to me when he needs to feel a sustaining connection with her. It is a need for which I cannot fault him. She sustains us all.

“Kathryn, sweetheart, what’s wrong? We’re home now. I’d think you’d be deliriously happy.”

For a moment there is no sound but the soft, hiccupping sobs still issuing from Kathryn. When she does speak, her husky whisper is so quiet I barely hear it.

“It’s . . . it’s over, Chakotay. They . . . they don’t need . . . need me any . . . any more.”

“Oh, sweetheart.”

I feel him gather her closer, sinking them both deeper into my embrace.

“You got them home, Kathryn. They may not need you as their captain any more, but they do still need you.”

There’s a rustle of movement and I picture his hand on her chin, tilting her head to look at him.

“They need you as friend, as mentor, as godmother, or Auntie Kathryn. They need you for guidance and advice. Some still need you for restraint. They need you to beam with pride at their promotions and successes. Or to offer a shoulder and condolences at their losses. This crew will always need you, Kathryn. You are their heart and soul.”

There is silence again, punctuated by a few soft sniffles, but I know my captain. She is ruminating on all her first officer has told her, slowly absorbing the truth of it. This time when she speaks, her voice is steadier.

“Do you need me, Chakotay?”

I imagine those piercing blue eyes of hers searching his face, anxious to know the truth of this as well.

“With all _my_ heart and soul, Kathryn. With all my heart and — ”

If I could smile, I would for I know what has cut off his response. My Kathryn is once again relaxed and playful. Once again the crouching tiger. The commander best beware.

Then again, perhaps they both best be aware. Of where they are at least. Willing voyeur that I am, I really wouldn’t want to see them interrupted. They need some place more private. And yes, I’ll admit it. Some place more comfortable than the captain’s chair for what I’m sure they have in mind.

And me? I will take comfort in knowing my Kathryn is in good hands now.

Oh, my goodness. Did I really say that? I must be reclining in my old age. Oops, there I go again. You’ll have to excuse me. It’s getting harder and harder to think clearly with all this rubbing . . . and squirming . . . and groping going on. These two really need to get a room.

Damn, there goes my back.

THE END


End file.
